The Helton Herald

Clockwise from left: Reba, Jeffrey (chef advisor), Jill, Helga, Charles, Susan, and Margaret. I’m the bright spot, of course, in the mirror.

It all began … Actually, I was going to start out with “In the beginning” but another book starts out that way. Well, anyway, it was my turn to cook. Foyer groups are groups of eight (more or less) folks who meet once monthly at each other’s place to share food and fellowship and a beverage or two. And my not being a cook was the challenge to me and maybe even a dare from them!

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While in Paris with Jeff (the Deff Jeff Jeff) I ate ham and cheese sandwiches because that’s all the French words I knew ‘scept “bonjer monjer y’all”.

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The author on his Honda, preparing for the big trip

A Day in the Life of a Church School Coordinator.
-from my 9/28/82 church school newsletter

Your Church School has allowed this Newsletter editor a one-year sabbatical after eight straight years (with three Sundays away), so he has decided to spend it visiting other churches to see how “the other side of the world” lives and worships and teaches. Thought you might be amused at the happenings of one such summer visit.
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Seems that Camilla married Jimmy so that Susan could have an occasion to wear her new flowered straw hat. It was a lovely event, and I was the head ding-a-ling. [bell ringer] Last year I shared the table with them at the Banks and Shane concert.

Jeffrey is having car trouble again. The radiator wasn’t radiating, the alternator wasn’t alternating, the generator wasn’t generating; the pistons weren’t working, either.

Boeing Stratoliner in flight

A friend and I am planning to be in London at Christmastime by way of one of Delta’s airplanes. This reminds me of the book “Birdie” by Kathryn Bankston with a little bit of help from Birdie Bomar. It is about Delta’s first in-flight stewardess. (you can’t call them stewardesses now!)

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M&Ms were created for the US military so that soldiers could eat them as a snack because they wouldn’t melt in pockets or backpacks. So, it melts in your mouth, not in your backpack. Or something like that!

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“Johnny” exclaimed the church school teacher “do you know what happens to little boys who use bad language while they’re playing?” Johnny: “Sure. They grow up and play golf.”

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If your annual family reunion is at a Parole Hearing…

…you could be a Redneck.

On a waiter’s gravestone:
“God finally got his attention.”

“She lived with her husband 50 years and died in the confident hope of a better life.”

“Beneath this stone lies Dr. John Bigelow,
an atheist all dressed up and with no place to go.”

Well, I’ve made it almost four pages so far without making fun of us Episcopalians!

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