New Kitchen
I’ve probably got the most expensive unused kitchen in the condominium. It all started out when I discovered that my sink sunk.
On one occasion when I was putting things in the dishwasher (you know, my Do Not ReUse pattern) and could not close the door without lifting up on the counter top was when I discovered that perhaps the counter, after a mere forty years, might have rotted out somewhere.
My big decision was to call Rex, who used to build things, and talk him into giving me a free opinion. Such opinion was the only time I should use the word “free” in connection with this venture. His contractor, Larry, was called in for consultation and it was concluded that for just a nickel or two more I should get a new counter rather than patch up the old one. This, evidently, is one occasion where a roll of duct tape will not solve the problem. Then I decided that with a new kitchen counter, the upper cabinets should match. The upper cabinets were fine, but why not spend another buck for matching cabinet doors and drawers because you really always want your drawers to look good.
Included in this project was installation of the washer and dryer in the pantry. I have been used to pulling out the hoses across the floor to hook up under and in the sink. And with a little bit of noise (about two weeks worth, actually!) we went through one wall, up over the ceiling, down another wall, and into the old rusty pipes, which needed work, as well. Now we no longer trip over all those hoses when Marie does my underwear!
Next big decision was the countertops. I picked a marble-looking Formica pattern but when discussing it with Godo Fräbel he said “why are you going to get a new kitchen and put in a cheap countertop” and I thought “hey, he’s right” and decided on granite, and Larry sent me down to look at a granite place, which I visited three times and couldn’t make up my mind. Did you know that way down in the earth for millions of years, there’s the most beautiful granite of every color? I liked a dark green, to sorta match the greens Marti and Crew painted my dining room. Lucy told me that her dark green color makes it hard to tell if the counter needs cleaning. Fine with me!
I could not decide on a granite color. Even after three trips. Maybe I should have called Dubya because just the other day he went onto national telly and told the world he’s The Decider! Dubya deciding anything! Oh, let’s not get into that! (I’ve got some decisions for him!)
Growing weary of looking and wanting to choose about half of the granite colors, I made the grand decision to get scapegoats: Jean and Jeffrey from the Thrift House will go and help me choose. Jean decided that I needed a lighter granite, as the kitchen has no windows. then Jeffrey (this Jeffrey is not the other Jeff you’ve heard about so often in the most positive and genteel way in prior editions so we’ll have to rename him Deff Jeff and the new guy just Jeffrey) picked the granite I looked no further. Actually, I didn’t really look closely at it because I felt if he liked it, I’ll like it, as he does have good taste: after all, he hired me (for one day a week, usually Wednesday). He was told by many of the volunteers how wonderful I am. (Well, what else could they possibly have said abou humble me. I’ve got a lot to be humble about!)
I kept buying things recommended without budgeting anything. What is a budget, anyway? It’s just a figure on a piece of paper! The sink is beautiful. If you can call a sink beautiful. And I got one of those fancy faucets that you pull out to spray things. Like, spraying the spaghetti sauce off the ceiling. Better not mess up my chrome back splash! The sink and faucet cost more than my first car. The stone tile on the kitchen floor is pretty, too. I assumed (take note of those first three letters) granite would be cheaper than marble, as, of course, I just said “I’ll take this” without checking further. Gee, I must be a seller’s prized client!
Also, with Jeffrey’s consultation and consent (a consultant is someone you call in at the last minute to help share the blame), I had the kitchen painted dark brown to match some of the brown (in the black & brown & isinglass splotches) within the granite. I thought the dark brown would make the lighter cabinets and granite stand out. It does; once I got over the initial shock of a dark room. Also, it also helps highlight the beautiful poster that Jim and Rick gave me for my birthday. It is a poster of Big Ben and the Underground, finely matted and framed in a silver frame, which is a match for the chrome back splash. It reminds me of my very first trip to London, when Marti dragged me to the airport and Deff Jeff dragged me into his airplane and the attendant made me sit in Business Class and drink champagne all the way across the pond then he made me go to Big Ben. Oh, the things I let them do!
Maybe one day I’ll actually cook something other than a Brenda Leftover Meal. I’m often reminded of to whom I owe a meal, usually by that Whom. Or two. But once they’ve had my cooking, they will not remind me any more. My pickled sweet potato salad recipe might become their favorite. Did you know that if you rake all that stuff off a canned ham and put it in a soup bowl with a sprig of ivy they’ll think it is vichyssoise?
The three month project is now over! Maybe I can help pay for it by selling tours of the kitchen. Now I need to find a place for my “cooking with wine” cartoons.
Forgot to mention, new ceiling light canisters. Dimmers. Under cabinet lighting with dimmers, too. All the works! Larry The Contractor is very good.